Waiting is Divine.

I wish I could say that I was the one who came up with this three word sentence that holds so much weight. But I didn’t. It rolled up on me in Chapter 7 of “Come Matter Here” by Hannah Brencher. And let me tell you, it snatched the breath right out of me.

Divine. This isn’t a small word to me. The very nature of Jesus is divine. Divine is GOOD. But waiting? This is not something that I would relate to being divine.

I mean, sometimes waiting isn’t a big deal…45 minutes for a table in a favorite restaurant? No problem…shipping is delayed an extra day? Inconvenient maybe but all is good.

But in the WAITING?

You mean the times where I have felt so lost that I didn’t think I would ever come out of the dark? Where getting out of bed only happened because Aaron would physically put me in the shower and on the couch? Or maybe you mean the times where everything was falling apart and nothing made sense and you were waiting on just one thing that still hasn’t come to fruition? Or as my marriage seemed to be just crumbling and I was begging for just one small moment to know it would be okay. Wait, maybe it was when I though He had made everything clear and as I began to walk that path, EVERYTHING started to fall apart and all of the sudden NOTHING made sense?

I mean how much time do you have because I could go on all day. Waiting is painful. It is gut wrenching. It is like getting punched in the face every 5 minutes and not being able to breath. It is HORRIBLE….

I mean sure, after the waiting comes the fruit and that is where I always found the lesson, the joy, the growth…the gratitude for the end and what came out of all of the stuff…BUT to sit with the sentence, “Waiting is Divine.” I found myself rattled.

Hannah says that waiting is misunderstood…Frankly I had about 5 minutes where I felt like she was the one who didn’t understand. Like I am reading this book relating to all of it and then you bust out this sentence…and even the paragraph before it and I just felt like you ruined this whole book.

Let me tell you what He did. He said read it again and again and again…so I did. It wasn’t long before I began to realize that I was the one missing the point. Tears started to fall, I talked about it on my Instagram stories and even as I have continued reading this book, I have went back to this page, the paragraph before and this sentence so many times…sure, I could justify it when I let myself rest in the aftermath of waiting…but to say it is DIVINE?

As I type this blog, I get it now. He has been faithful to show up, to let my reflection of the hard waiting show revelation…most of all, He has shown me why this season of waiting truly is DIVINE. And that doesn’t mean I don’t have the moments…but I have found myself seeking out why it is good. Resting in the fact that He does make ashes into beauty. That refinement will happen. That maybe the blessing at the end of all of the waiting is more then I could ever imagine…and listen a blessing could be deep healing, true forgiveness, PEACE…I think those are the best blessings of all.

Listen, I lament, I wail, I beg and plead for relief. This isn’t a cut and dry revelation for me, but it is a marked moment in my walk. Because when I am done having that honest conversation (okay, there is a lot of me talking and all of the above mentioned things and Him doing a lot of listening and probably a little head shaking) I hear myself reminding myself that waiting is divine.

This doesn’t mean I have all the answers. I know people that have been in the valley way to long…Frankly, I am ready to be out of this one I am in…I don’t always get it, I can’t always see it and sometimes I am even mad…But I know He is who He says He is…He knows better….His timing is better then my control…

Deep breath moment here…I DON’T KNOW BETTER THAN GOD. You don’t know better than Him…no one does. NO ONE DOES.

We matter to Him more than we matter to anyone on this earth. He knows the number of hairs on our head…He created us…He knows. Even when it feels like He doesn’t, I promise you He does.

As you are waiting in your valley, will you take the time to find the divine?