She Speaks....He Confirms
He is faithful.
Over and over again I am blown away with how much He is so deeply aware of the things we need even if we don't speak them out loud.
I was prepared to learn, be given tools and maybe even have a "moment" or two. I wasn't prepared for the absolute moments of confirmation and most of all, the moments where He spoke so deeply to things in my heart that I hadn't even spoken to Him about yet.
The night before the conference, Aaron and I were having a pretty intense conversation about a relationship in my life. I had been struggling with a few things about the relationship...I had found myself hurt and not understanding...we went back and forth about what that means and how I should process it all. I went to sleep still hurting and with the intention to spend some time with Him about it in the coming days.
I am listening to the first session (Lysa Terkeurst), taking notes and so excited that He is already confirming where my heart is and in the middle of this message, she weaves in a story that has me in tears and in just awe.
It was like I could hear Him saying that He knew I was going to be having that conversation with Aaron and that He laid on her heart this part of the message just for me. I believe that with all that I am that He goes before us and prepares a way. I just always find myself completely humbled when He does it before I verbally bring it before Him. He truly hears everything in my heart and mind even when I don't speak it. He cares about the things that I don't always feel ready to speak. Most of all, He shows Himself when I least expect it, just to remind me that His love is steadfast and that He is always there.
I have learned such a deep importance of spending daily time with Him. That when I fill my heart, mind and soul with His Truth and spend time with Him I find myself less taken in with painful emotions and lies that I speak over myself that pull me away from the thing I need most, Him.
He again brings in more confirmation when another speaker (Meredith Brock) begins to speak on the thing that I have been pushing through the most this past year (okay many years) - Trust. It gave me a pause and a smile to have that gentle reminder that He knows that I am still making a daily choice in that area...but what I feel most compelled about in that message, what I think we all can learn from comes from Psalm 3:3, "But You, O Lord, are a shield about me, my Glory, the lifter of my head."(esv). When she said, "He can't lift an unbowed head." I was just so struck...and isn't that so true. If we are not bowing our head and communicating with Him and walking in obedience then how can He ever lift our head to guide us and direct us? How can we ever know if we are doing what He has called us too if we are never seeking His confirmation?
But then comes a speaker that blew my mind. I was not prepared to have one of the speakers at a conference for women who want to write/speak/teach to stand up and tell us that we are not writers, speakers, etc. She started saying that and I was like well okay...BUT then she says that the only TRUE calling we have is to be minsters of the gospel of Jesus Christ and it is in that calling that the way we use our gifts and steward our words and use our time, that is what matters (thank you Jennie Allen).
Friends, when I tell you Jennie Allen spoke so much powerful truth and fire...when she reminded me that to never grow weary of doing good and bringing forth His light that I must find my daily Joy in Him...and that the enemy so hates believers. I mean he already has the lost so all of his hatred and focus is on us, those who want to do HIS will and bring His truth to others....and the enemy will do that with such a subtlety...it will be slow comforts that we take time with more than Him (mindless scrolling) and if the enemy cannot get us like that then he will come for our identities (not worthy, not equipped, no value) and the enemy will keep coming for until he has us trapped. We know that is true. We all know how the enemy has no shame in using anything and everything to see us stumble. To keep us from Him. To keep us trapped in a cycle that we never use the gifts He has given us and if we do not equip our minds and our heart on Him and use the weapons He has given us...HIS Word, HIS Truth, our testimony....
Be prepared for the enemy to drag you down. I have felt that weight creeping in since the conference...but I was prepared for it because I knew the moment He started confirming the path He has for me over and over that the accuser, the liar would be coming for me. So out came the play list, out came the Truth and I started the day asking Him to put a hedge about my mind and heart.
Never let anyone tell you that you cannot do what He has called you too. If He has called you then He will equip you. Fear is a liar. Shame is a liar. Any lie that keeps you from Him is a lie.
As believers, we have all we need to fight the battle and as believers we should be prepared for the battle to come. We are at war with the enemy and sometimes we need to remind the enemy that he loses.
