In the Silence....
2 Corinthians 5:7 (esv), “For we walk by faith, not by sight.”
Somedays, this is the easiest verse to believe in and some days this is the hardest verse. I trust and believe that God is who He says He is, but there are some days I question the why this and that and I question the plan and path it takes to get to the next place. Thankfully, He is patient and kind and reminds me that He is in control and not me.
I struggle when He is silent...the thing with His silence is that I can pray for others and get so much from Him, but in my own situations, all that revelation that was just pouring out stops and the stillness and quiet settle over me and it is then that I have the choice to trust Him and know He is working or let my emotions take over - sometimes I get it right and sometimes I don't. That is just the truth.
I know He has a plan for my life. He has been revealing it to me slowly but surely. I don't understand some of the things that have been put onto my path as we get to the end result, but I know that He has a purpose and a plan and that if this is part of the growth, then that is what it is. Tears, frustrations, hurtful words, distance, pain, suffering....all of these things have always ended in understanding and growth and I know that this will too. It won't be on my timetable that much is for sure.
God knows the whole story. He knows the beginning of my life to the end. He has the "sight" we so desperately want to have when our faith is struggling because we can't see. One thing I know is that I wish I had the sight sometimes. Right now, when I am in the middle of so many things, knowing what the outcome is in all the different things would make it more easy to keep going...or so I think. I also know that every time I have thought I knew better than Him, I have ended up more in a mess.
Nothing is worse than sitting in the mess. It is exhausting to realize that you have been misunderstood because you didn't communicate well or you spoke without thinking. The imperfectness of our human self is staring us back in the mirror on those days.
Thankfully, His mercies are new every morning.
Thankfully, I can pick up His Word and be reminded of His truth.
Thankfully, He knows my heart and though I may have to learn a hard lesson, He can use it for growth.
Faith is trusting in what I cannot see, BUT faith is also believing that He knows what is best.
In the silence of my life and prayers, He has shown me a lot if I just look for it. Sometimes, I think He is being silent because I don't want to see or hear what He is saying. It is when I finally listen, that I realize He really isn't being silent at all, I was just trying to control the outcomes and was no longer listening.
